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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?